Supporting others trying to conceive, especially those struggling with infertility, is near and dear to my heart. Stick around for my story and reach out if you need support!
My Story:
Many years ago (I’m talking way back in 2006), my husband and I realized, despite not using birth control for the last 2 years, we were not getting pregnant. I had no idea then that this new realization would throw me into a “journey” that would take my life (and my husband’s) by storm. It quite literally changed everything, including how I saw myself, my relationships with the people closest to me, and even my reputation at work.
If you are here because you are also struggling with infertility, then you probably know there is a lot that happens mentally and physically during this experience. Wherever you are in your fertility story (just beginning, been trying to conceive for years, a supportive friend/family member of someone with infertility) you are welcome here and I hope my story can help you in some way. Here are a few highlights from our fertility story:
- After researching (I really mean consulting Dr. Google) why we weren’t getting pregnant after 2 years of trying on our own, we decided to go see an OBGYN. At this point in time, I did not know about reproductive endocrinologists. Despite us already trying to conceive on our own for 2 years, the doctor told us to try to conceive on our own at home for 3 months and then return to him if it did not work (I know now this is quite common and happens to most couples when they first go to a doctor for infertility. It makes it no less frustrating for us seeking help). We were hopeful but confused. How will 3 more months of doing the exact same thing we were already doing change anything!?
- I threw myself into checking my BBT every month and found myself completely overwhelmed with ovulation predictor kits. Back then, I chose not to use them because they were just too overwhelming. If only I knew then what I know now as a fertility support specialist. I think we need some kind of a class as an introduction to infertility for people just starting out on this “journey”. Anyway, it was too confusing and overwhelming on my own. I had no idea what I was looking at. I didn’t even know about cervical mucus and fertile periods back then. Ugh! Of course, it didn’t work!
- We went back to the doctor since nothing was working. The doctor performed a full workup of examinations and tests on both of us. We were worried but trusted him when he said he was positive we would have a baby within the year. To this day, I still cannot figure out what would make him say that. He was wrong, very wrong!
- We were sent home with unexplained infertility as our lab results were mostly normal. I was given medicine to help me ovulate and told to “give it the old college try” so to speak. The medicine helped me ovulate, quite a few follicles at a time. We were excited when we were told it could result in twins. But, nothing, it didn’t work!
- Back to the doctors for us when we’re told, “maybe your body sees his sperm as an invader and attacks it before it can get to the egg”. I know now this is actually a thing but back then it was terrifying to hear! So, we move on to medicated cycles with IUI. My husband gave me the HCG shots (I was very lucky to have his help with this. I did not feel like I could do it on my own back then) and after each injection, I felt like I was run over by a Mac truck for days (not everyone feels like this after injections). Each IUI was stressful to the max as sometimes the doctor was late leaving me to wonder if we would get the procedure done in time since the sperm only had a certain amount of time it could survive outside of the body. I also had terrible cramps and without fail, after every single IUI before we could make it home I would have an intense vasovagal response in the car. I would feel like I was going to pass out but also need to vomit at the same time. Stressful to say the least! Disclaimer – our bodies are all different and just because I had this experience does not mean you will. I have talked to numerous people who have undergone at least one IUI and they did not have this same experience.
- We went through 3 IUI’s together, all resulting in positive pregnancy results. You would think this was good news, as I also thought when finding out each time, but all 3 pregnancies resulted in losses. It was devastating!
- In despair, we returned to the doctor who suggested we move on to IVF. We had a hard decision in front of us. I couldn’t go through another loss, I just couldn’t. We ultimately decided to stop fertility treatments at that point in time and adopt sometime in the future. If you ever get to this point, this decision will look different for you. Whatever you decide is okay!
- Fortunately for us, and this doesn’t happen for everyone (despite the common advice to just relax, it does not suddenly “cure” infertility), we found out 3 months later I was actually pregnant. To this day, I still sometimes don’t believe it happened. What in the world, World!? After all of that! The pregnancy, miraculously, was successful and we finally had our precious little girl in 2013. It took 7 years, ahhhhh!
- To finish my story, let’s just say I was terrified. Pregnancy after loss/infertility is so hard! So hard! But that story is for another time, another blog post.
I know some of you have been fighting for your miracle for more than 7 years. However long you have been trying (1 year or less, 5 years, 10 years), you are a badass and have come this far! You have overcome so much pain, stress, and anxiety (I could keep going but it is impossible to put everything you have gone through in words). Whatever your comfort is, I got you… a hug, a nice warm drink, a friendly ear to listen. Take a few minutes to imagine whatever comforts you is happening right now. Imagine the feeling it gives you and ask it to stay with you for today. It might sound pointless but trust me, it works. Why it works is also a post for another day so stay tuned.
How I Became a Fertility Support Specialist:
About 13 years after my experience with infertility and trying to conceive, I learned there are people in this world that support others through the stress and difficulty of infertility. I originally planned on becoming a birth doula. While I researched how to do this, I discovered the existence of fertility doulas and fertility support specialists. I remember wondering why I didn’t know about this when I needed it and immediately knew it was something I wanted to do. Forget being a birth doula, fertility, more specifically infertility, is where I belong. I wanted others to know they did not have to be alone with infertility. I wanted them to have all the information they needed to make the best decisions possible for their unique fertility situation, help them reduce the stress and mental load they were feeling, and to increase their mental and physical well-being for the best possible outcome. Most of all, I wanted others to know they are not alone, infertility is not their fault, and that there is help out there.
I looked around at several certification programs and found one that fit how I wanted to support the infertility community. It taught me how to work with clients using the traditional doula approach using evidence-based information, how to guide a client through mind-body exercises, and how to take care of their overall mental and physical well-being. It took a lot of work (reading, writing, quizzes, reports, hands-on experience) but within a year, I was a proud owner of my very own fertility support specialist certification. I enjoy continuing my education by reading books, working with other fertility professionals, learning from and with my clients, and taking more courses about infertility and women’s reproductive health. I am always learning and finding new and improved ways to support my clients.
Why I Started this Blog:
I decided to make a public blog in order to share the information I have learned from both my personal experience with infertility and the knowledge I have gained obtaining my certification. I hope to create a space where it feels safe to talk about all aspects of infertility, including the ones society often ignores. Let’s talk about it all. Talking is healing, knowledge is empowering.
Thank you for joining me today. I hope you will stay and continue this journey with me. Let’s build an uplifting community of support and knowledge surrounding infertility. Reach out to me if you need support.
nurturedheartfertility.com 